The Challenge of Change
Rumor has it that change is difficult. How many times have you promised yourself you would change something and never done it? See how creative you are with those reasons? You can even take a moment, now, to make a list. How many things are on your list?
In one case, Joe, a successful local printer, said he would quit the business when the internet took over too much of the advertising market. Even though it put lots printers out of business, he never did quit. He got bitter and angry that the market collapsed. And he would tell anyone that would listen, how impossible it was for him to do anything different. He used these reasons to build a wall of impossibility. He said: “I ‘m too old. (He was 59). I don’t know what to do. I don’t have time to support myself because I have to scrounge for new, low paying, work.” It’s easy to see the vicious circle he was building that lowered his energy and kept him frozen. He was creative in finding the reasons why not! I almost felt sorry for him.
Joe failed to see how to change. He just knew things weren’t like they used to be. Sound familiar? He didn’t know what direction to take or how to find a way to discover it. He was caught in his own judgments. Yet, behind those reasons, he was paralyzed with his fear of moving on, at all. All core fears are fed by old beliefs and questions we hold about ourselves. For Joe, there was no chance he could survive. He was terrified that, if he tried, he’d fail. This was too great a risk. It was easier to complain and feel miserable. He was so committed to his old beliefs, that money became a source of constant arguments with his wife. Life was miserable.
After So Many Years, How do you change?
Negative core beliefs can be changed. And I hope Joe is willing to go to a therapist, if he needs it. There is no way to get around the nature of change itself. It can feel like jumping off a cliff, but it’s at the heart of doing something different. It might take being afraid for a while. Try to remember, changing means you have the courage to admit you don’t know everything. It’s the opportunity of doing and learning something new. This can be confronting, especially after being the owner of a business, or the head of a department for a long time. In the old job, you knew exactly what to do. In fact, you may have been the authority, the person everyone came to for help.
Have you ever seen yourself in this position? Uncomfortable isn’t it? But as you know that’s not where the story has to end. Let me know how your story is changing.