The Basics Of Energy
Everyone talks about midlife as a time of creating a new sense of what life means. It comes up because most people seem to find themselves stepping back from how they have been living. They wonder, “What does life mean for me?”
For some reason that simple question confused me. Where does the energy to have life mean something come from –– inside our beings, our inner souls? I think I saw it today. I saw a my friend Alice, in the middle of a diabetic reaction. This reaction was not from having too little blood sugar, it was from having too much sugar and no insulin to process the food sugars in her body. As a type one diabetic, her life was threatened. She could starve to death. I spent lots of time empathizing with her inner experiences, as she went through different stages of discomfort.
At first Alice complained that her stomach felt nauseated and bloated. Then, her stomach and lower abdomen began to hurt, with a knife like pain, making it hard for her to walk. She moaned and walked bent over, circling the inside of her house. She had tested her blood for the amount of sugar it contained by this time, and discovered there was too much sugar. But she was confused as to whether the insulin pump, she usually depended on to give her the right amounts of insulin during her day, was actually working. Over several hours of this moaning pain, Alice determined that her pump was not working correctly. She was well educated about how to handle diabetes and had, in reserve, a supply of insulin syringes, so she could just shoot some insulin into her body. As she lay on her bedroom floor, on a pillow, the pain started to decrease and the insulin started processing the sugar in her body.
A Power Inside Us
I could see, in her behavior, an automatic, unquestioning internal drive, to control the imbalance and attempt to override her pain. I was amazed that she could handle the pain and work to correct it, herself. But Alice just kept saying over and over, “If I go to the hospital it will take more time and I’ll feel worse.” I was really impressed with her courage. She just kept going –– waiting and feeling the pain, to determine if taking the shot was the best solution for her problem.
On some deep instinctual level, she was driven to live. The meaning, the purpose, of her life was survival. Her plans for the day went out the window. Every other issue lost meaning. She focused on the steps, she needed to take, to nurture her body.
Honor You Drive To Live
You also have that primitive drive. You have that pull to create in life, or you wouldn’t be bothered by the question, “What does life mean for me ?” Animals don’t ask that question. Yes, by just being a person you get to ask. I believe, at midlife, we face that deep internal call to live. It’s clear our time on this earth is limited. It feels like being yanked to wake up, so we can be sure we are living the way we want to. Just look in the mirror and, there, are the signs of aging looking back. Isn’t it valuable to honor the animal part of us that has worked so diligently to take care of us over the years? This may be part of the fuel, the energy, that pushes our inner self in the search to fully define life’s meaning. If this energy expressed itself as a sentence, it might say, “I want life.” Give yourself credit for the desire to create a new life in this one.